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Optimism
I have had a resounding bit of good news with which to begin June and my summer. The burden that has weighed heavily on me these last few months (and even years) has been lifted. It is not hyperbole to say it feels like rebirth. “All shall be well, and all shall be well, and…
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A Cancer Update
Like most things in life, cancer is not black and white. When last we spoke of it, I introduced you to the phenomenon of “scanxiety,” the emotional roller coaster of regularly scheduled CT scans to monitor cancer for spread or a tumor for growth, and I shared that during one such scan, the tumor on…
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Scanxiety
And the word of the day is scanxiety. It’s a neologism, but what it describes is all too familiar. Back in the 90s, before I tested positive for HIV, I had something similar, though it didn’t have a name. My gay thoughtful readers will know what I’m talking about. Every six months, you’d go to…
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Smoking
I recently rediscovered Barry Manilow. I bought a “greatest hits” compilation of his on iTunes called Ultimate Manilow, and found I knew the words to every song! The arrangements, the melodies, the build to the moment of maximum drama: these were really good songs. I mean really, really good. The sentiment in the lyrics was…
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Mountains, Richard Nixon, and Cats
When you’ve been to the top of the mountain, you realize how deep the valley is, how treacherous the ravines, how jagged the rocks. And you long for the mountaintop’s view, for the air up there, which just seems fresher, and for that sense of achievement that comes from finishing your climb. I grew up…
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The In-between
When I was 15, a teacher whose name I’m struggling to remember gave us an essay assignment: in 500 words, describe your life at 35. I had a very clear idea of where I would be and what I would be doing. I had gotten my Master’s degree in English from UCLA, had returned to…
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If it’s not one thing, it’s another
Last summer, when I was diagnosed with lung cancer, I promised to keep you, thoughtful reader, updated on my journey. In that regard, it’s all good. The tumor on the upper part of my right lung was 10 mm in size when first detected, grew to 14 mm before treatment began, and has now shrunk…
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I did it!
I completed radiation treatment (radiotherapy) for lung cancer (adenocarcinoma) last Monday. This is treatment room A (above) in the radiation oncology department (called Bighorn) at the Lucy Curci Cancer Center in Rancho Mirage, California. I underwent a two-week course of Stereotactic Body Radiotherapy, or SBRT, delivered daily with one day off to rest between doses. …
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We have a plan
Yesterday marked one month since my cancer diagnosis. In that time, I have had multiple consultations with doctors, quite a few tests, and I have been reading everything I can find on cancer and its treatment. When I was diagnosed with PML, I took quite a different approach; PML is a rare disease, so there…
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How I spent my summer, so far
When I was diagnosed with PML my first question was “what is PML?” And by that I mean beyond what the initialism stands for (Progressive Multifocal Leukoencephalopathy). I’d never heard of it; most people haven’t, although I do hear it more and more these days in those laundry lists of potential side effects that get…
Your mileage may vary.