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The Graveyard of Dead Gods
H. L. Mencken’s meditation on the “graveyard of dead gods” is characteristically provocative. Written in 1922 as “Memorial Service” and later included in A Mencken Chrestomathy, the piece begins with what appears to be a simple historical curiosity: Where are the gods who were once worshipped by the great civilizations of the past? Where are…
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A Little Dog Beneath an Ancient Sun
I don’t know how it happened. When Dennis, the little Corgi mutt who’d been by my side since I ended up in a wheelchair, died, I wanted a Beagle. I was actively looking for one (and had found one on a shelter website not too far away) the morning I came across Gordon’s picture and…
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Pablo
It’s hard to put into words what it was like living in the shadow cast by AIDS in the 90s. One of my exes (I have several – in my heyday, I was what you might call a serial monogamist) gave HIV the name Pablo, because we could not comprehend nor relate to an unseen…
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I am sickened by this
There is nothing particularly controversial about naming an American aircraft carrier after a president. Provided, of course, that the president is no longer in office, has been dead for several years, and is therefore unable to object to the wording of the plaque. The difficulty arises when the president is still in office, is involved…
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The Most Famous Address in London
A “practical joke” is called practical because it is a joke carried out in the real world rather than merely told. The word practical here means something like “put into practice” or “involving action.” A practical joke therefore involves manipulating a situation so that another person experiences something unexpected, usually for comic effect. “What do…
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The Holes of Justice
Today, we describe someone as “in the hole” if they are in debt, upside down on their mortgage, or more generally in dire circumstances, but in medieval Germany that might literally be a description of your day in court. Imagine receiving a court summons that reads: You are hereby ordered to appear before the court…
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Chesterton’s Fence
Few things are easier to ridicule than a regulation. Republicans have made a meal out of this since Ronald Reagan mockingly said, “The nine most terrifying words in the English language are: ‘I’m from the government, and I’m here to help.’” Nobody wakes up in the morning excited about fire codes. No one tells friends…
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You probably don’t need to know this
We have already established that as a young boy I was rubbish at sports. It wasn’t for lack of trying. My father, may he rest in peace, had me “try out” for everything, but when it came to a ball, I was simply no good at kicking one down a lawn, hitting one with a…
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Then there’s this
Think, thoughtful reader, about something you use everyday, that everybody uses everyday. If you are Taylor Swift, the Pope, or Vladimir Putin, you use it. Got a PhD in Physics or just completed your training on the deep fryer at McDonalds and are finally moving up from the drive-thru window – you use it. The…
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Two Tribes
I have long wondered what makes contemporary Republicans tick. It is sophomoric to dismiss them outright because their leader is a vulgar half-wit, but, I’ll admit, Donald Trump’s Svengali-like hold over them confused me. After all, this is the party that has been banging on about family values ever since Dan Quayle launched a crusade…
Your mileage may vary.