-
What the f**k do you want?
People love to talk about the time they met [insert_name_of_famous_person_here]. My mom had a story about running into Jerry Lewis at an ice cream parlor she told for years. And given where I worked, I had plenty of “sightings,” if you want to call them that, but for me they were just another day at…
-
One Ringy Dingy
I often if not always tell the story of my working life as the heartwarming rags-to-riches tale of the boy who left the seminary, got a job in the entertainment industry as a secretary, and retired 17 years later (for health reasons) as a facilities, logistics, and infrastructure vice president. And while that is true,…
-
This is a raid!
When I wore a younger man’s clothes, Martin, Paul, and I were the three musketeers; we had all been Franciscans and Catholic seminarians studying for the priesthood, but after college found ourselves an unlikely posse. Martin was a high school principal – black and overweight, Paul was in federal law enforcement – quite muscular and…
-
Brain Surgery
A man walks into a party. Guests are milling around. There is a low hum from the combined conversations of the partygoers, and over it can be heard some faint music. I think it is “Songbird” by Kenny G. Yah, it is. I’d know that song anywhere. Remember 1987? You couldn’t get away from it. …
-
Sometimes I lie
Last week, I was having a conversation with the esteemed director of my residence here at Stonewall Gardens Assisted Living in my apartment, me seated, her standing in my open doorway. Under normal circumstances, I think the world of Brittany – she is intelligent, experienced, professional yes, but perhaps more importantly she is kind, compassionate,…
-
Stupid User Tricks
I learned just about everything I know about writing computer code from a man named Carl. I met him in the early 90s when we were working on creating a digital, automated way to transmit raw union payroll data from my company (a sound postproduction studio) to his (a payroll processing company). The idea was…
-
Orange please
I have already told you of how my life of crime was over before it began thanks to an ill-fated attempt to steal a flashing orange traffic barricade in the dead of night with a bunch of friends when we were teenagers. But that was not my only brush with the law. In my 30s,…
-
From Madeleines to Saltines
My first encounter with Marcel Proust was not academic, or even literary. As a teenager, I was obsessed with Monty Python, which I’d come to know through a dedicated, bordering on religious, listening to Dr. Demento every Sunday night on 94.7 KMET (“the Mighty Met”), at the time the most listened-to Sunday evening radio program…
-
Loud Joyce
This week marks ten years since I have lived at Stonewall Gardens Assisted Living in Palm Springs. It has, on the whole, been a good experience. There have been ups and downs, but that’s life, isn’t it? If I were writing a Yelp review, I’d give it 4.5 out of 5 stars, holding back that…
-
It’s only Tylenol!
I don’t want to mislead you with that title. This post is not about autism. The Buffoon-in-Chief, flanked by his Secretary of Health and Human Services (Bobby Brain Worm) and the head of Medicare/Medicaid (TV’s Doctor Oz), declared that taking Tylenol during pregnancy causes autism. It does not. I am not a doctor or a…
Your mileage may vary.