Thinking about that title, aren’t all surprises “unexpected?” Hmm, well let’s not get bogged down in semantics. As an adult, I know that if I’m to pass along a food or beverage recommendation, it should be about a restaurant with a delicious grown-up entree (like the Corn Chowder Fettuccine at Grand Central at La Plaza in downtown Palm Springs), a particularly good wine (Coppola’s wines are fantastic, especially the Claret – a blend of Cab and Merlot), or maybe a standout dessert given my sweet tooth (you’ve gotta try the Warm Buttery Pound Cake à la mode with caramel sauce at Lulu California Bistro on the corner of Arenas and Palm Canyon Drive). If that’s what you’re expecting this morning, prepare to be disappointed, because what I’m going to discuss is, I’m told, meant for kids. I’ve been getting some strange looks around here – “is he alright?” It’s something your mom might put in your lunch pail.
If you’re some kind of a food snob, if you’re idea of a snack involves tofu on levain bread, if you’d secretly love a bowl of Cap’n Crunch cereal but deny yourself the pleasure because of what it might look like, you should probably stop reading here and go have some avocado toast.
But if, like me, you believe there is nothing on this Earth more sublime and satisfying than a peanut butter and jelly sandwich (with a glass of ice cold milk… whole milk, not that 2% crap that’s supposed to be better for you and tastes like whitened water), then you should read on because I have found something that is up there with Alexander Fleming’s discovery of penicillin.
I do all my grocery shopping online and have it delivered by Instacart – for the convenience, yes, of having my groceries dropped off at my front door, but mainly because it’s next to impossible to do in a wheelchair. I’ve been burned a couple of times when something I hadn’t tried before looked good online, I added it to my cart, and then it didn’t live up to my expectations (or anticipation). So I tend to be a fairly conservative shopper, sticking to the same items and brands week after week, and I’ve set myself a couple of rules: chief among them, don’t shop hungry.
That’s probably how this all started. I was a bit peckish. And Ralphs, where I do my online grocery shopping, always throws up a “other items you might like” screen during the checkout process. I’m sure it’s algorithmic and based on your purchase history. There’s a “proceed to checkout” button, and I always just click it and bypass the recommendations without even looking at them. But earlier this week, one caught my eye. Peanut butter and jelly. Yum. Yes please. Frozen, thaw to eat. Nah, it’s not going to taste right.
My idea of a proper PB & J sandwich is creamy peanut butter, grape jelly (no fancy jams or anything with the word “preserves” associated with it), and gloriously squishy (for lack of a better term) Wonder Bread – yah, the one that’s supposed to be bad for you because of its calorie count and high amounts of sodium and sugar, not to mention all the hard to pronounce additives and preservatives listed on the label.
There’s no way a box of frozen, individually wrapped, PB & J sandwiches are going to meet my requirements.
Met, and exceeded! Color me surprised, and impressed.
Smucker’s Uncrustables are ready-to-eat, crustless sandwiches made by The J.M. Smucker Company and sold frozen in grocery stores. They have a soft circular shape with sealed edges and are filled with peanut butter and jelly (grape or strawberry or raspberry), honey, and one even foregoes the peanut butter and is filled with a chocolate-flavored hazelnut spread. They are a remarkably simple affair – each sandwich is individually wrapped and frozen (you store them in your freezer); then simply take one out and let it sit at room temperature for about 30 minutes, unwrap it, and eat it. No mess (but a wrapper to throw away), and no fuss (no need to get out a knife and your jars of peanut butter and jelly, prepare your sandwich, then wash off your knife and put your jars away). It is literally thaw and eat!
But what does it taste like? Well, here’s where I was truly gobsmacked. They taste amazing! I expected frozen bread needing to be thawed would be soggy or somehow just not the right consistency. I don’t know how they’ve done it – maybe sold their souls to Satan, but the bread is not only just right, it’s better than Wonder! And with no crusts, it’s all yummy.
I’ve only had the PB & J, but the peanut butter is creamy and the jelly (I’ve tried grape) blends in perfectly, contrasting but complimenting it. My only complaint is that they are so good (and addictive) I can polish of a box of ten in one sitting, then there’s no more for later. Now I know how Gordon feels when we run out of Belly Bones.
This is one of those unexpected but ultimately happy surprises. Since starting Mounjaro last spring, I’m not as much of a snacker as I used to be – but Smucker’s Uncrustables are my new go-to. I thought I had it made with Kraft single-serve Mac & Cheese cups, but those you have to add water, microwave, stir in the cheese powder… it’s a whole ordeal.
Now, I just grab an Uncrustable out of the freezer, set it out on the table next to my recliner, wait 30 minutes, and enjoy. My only complaint is the waiting 30 minutes!