Modern life is nothing less than amazing. Take a look around the room you’re sat in right now. You are surrounded by more technology than accompanied Neil Armstrong, Buzz Aldrin, and Michael Collins to the moon! I think that is remarkable. But one thing that is undeniable is these wonderous things which make our lives so much easier than even our parents had it when they were kids all need power. Even our cellular phones, which run on a battery, need to spend time on the charger. So when it comes right down to it, everything needs to be plugged in.

I like things tidy. I’ve been accused of having OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder), but I do not. I’m just a little bit fussy. I keep my apartment neat and clean. I Swiffer® daily, even though my residence has a housekeeper that comes into each apartment once a week. All of the items in my refrigerator are lined up with the tallest at the back, the shortest in the front, and their labels face the same direction (outward, for easy identification). In my closet, pants are hung together, as are shirts; shirts are further organized by sleeve length (long or short), style (e.g., polo vs. dress), and fabric. The pattern in the ironwork of the table on my patio lines up perfectly with the earth’s north-south axis.

As I mentioned, the downside of all our mod cons is plugs. Most if not all residences are equipped with outlets which are electrified, but they tend to allow for only two items to be plugged in and they are never where you need them relative to the Feng Shui of your living space. Modernity has provided us with the multi outlet power strip (called “Waber” strips), and extension cords. But they are ugly. Most of my time is spent, in order, (1) writing, (2) giving Gordon belly rubs, (3) gardening, (4) hiding plugs and wires. And I will tell you this: Gordon is not happy about his belly rubs coming second, to anything!

Next to my bed is your traditional 2-socket outlet, and I’ve handily hidden it with a bedside table in front of it. But here is my problem. On the table are three things requiring power: a lamp, my phone charger, and an Alexa Echo Spot which controls my smart home features. Currently, Alexa controls my lights and my thermostat, and is transgender – while out-of-the-box she responds to commands with a female American voice, I have selected the option of having responses spoken to me in a very posh male voice with a British accent (only because swarthy Latino lover was not one of the choices). To further complicate matters, nearby is my Internet router which requires power, as does my bed itself (it is one of those fancy newfangled adjustable ones from Tempur-Pedic).

Do the math. That’s five plugs, two sockets. Now I mentioned there is an outlet next to the bed which I’ve hidden with the bedside table. There is another outlet about 3 feet away. That gets us to four sockets. Not enough, and we’re going to have the problem of unsightly wires and plugs.

You can wrangle the inevitable “cord” of the extension cord by using the sticky double-sided fasteners included in your kit to affix it to the wall; I recommend a straight shot (or a gay one) down to the skirting board, a crisp, clean, 90-degree angle, then run along the skirting board till you can conceal the plug-iny part behind something (in my case, the bedside table). And voila! You’ve got power where you need it. With no messy wires or unsightly plugs.

Since I discovered this product, my life has changed. The sun shines brighter, food tastes better, birdsong is more melodic, and my general sense of well-being has improved dramatically. I have lost weight and my complexion has taken on a renewed, healthy glow. I have recommended the product to friends, and a few have acquired kits of their own. I see no reason why everyone shouldn’t enjoy the sheer and overwhelming satisfaction bordering on bliss of banishing from their vision all those unsightly wires and plugs that are the price we pay for modernity.

As I said, I can be a little bit fussy.