Few things in life give me as much satisfaction, as much joy, as much sheer pleasure as an Egg McMuffin from McDonald’s.  Tacos do, but that’s a whole other experience for a whole other time of day.  I’m old enough to remember a time before McDonald’s served breakfast – when they didn’t open until 11 o’clock in the morning.  And I’m old enough to remember when McDonald’s was really the only game in town. Though there were others when it came to fast food.  Within a mile of where I grew up, we had a Jack in the Box and a Kentucky Fried Chicken, and I remember what a big deal it was when we got a Carl’s Jr. down the street, but the McDonald’s at Western and Glenoaks was like Camelot; it was like Kubla Khan’s Xanadu, a magical place of wonder and beauty.

Back then, “fast food” wasn’t a bad thing.  I think foodies today get carried away when they limit what is good gastronomically to things like expense, or novelty, or elegance.  I mean, how great is it that you can get a meal handed to you in a bag without ever leaving your car or even turning the engine off?  And when I say “a meal” I mean “everything you need.”  For the concept of fast food to work, you have to be able to hold it in your hand while driving; automakers have contributed their part – is there a car even made today that doesn’t have a built-in cup holder?

Burgers are obvious choices for a fast food restaurant being handheld and self-contained.  And though fast food restaurants now have things like pancakes, breakfast items as a whole don’t easily lend themselves to the drive-thru paradigm as they generally require you to go somewhere and sit down with utensils to eat your meal.  Which is why the Egg McMuffin, apart from being delicious, was such a revolutionary advance in dining – it made breakfast portable.

An Egg McMuffin is, essentially, Eggs Benedict on-the-go.  Most people know its origin story:  invented in 1972 by a McDonald’s franchisee named Herb Peterson about an hour north of where I grew up, first served as a local item available only at the McDonald’s on State Street in Santa Barbara, initially rejected by corporate decision makers at McDonald’s, tried for the price of 63 cents in a few test markets, then eventually green-lighted to roll out nationally as a standard menu item at their restaurants in 1975.  In place of a Benedict’s poached egg, Peterson invented a Teflon-coated iron ring into which a fresh egg was cracked and cooked atop a flat top grill already there to cook burgers later in the day.  Peterson’s iron ring not only ensured the egg formed into a burger-like shape, but made it possible to serve the egg on an English muffin (in place of a hamburger bun), making the creation a kindof “breakfast burger.”  A slice of American cheese replaced a traditional Benedict’s Hollandaise sauce which had the added benefit of contributing to the sandwich’s portability.

If you order pancakes, or French toast, or scrambled eggs, or oatmeal, or a fruit cup (why?) at your favorite fast food joint today, you have the Egg McMuffin to thank; it was the catalyst for McDonald’s to open earlier and serve breakfast items, which today account for 35% of their business.  The rest of the fast food industry quickly followed suit.  Sat here today over a half-century later, I can still hear the jingle in my head from McDonald’s 1970s tv ads:

The Egg McMuffin is more than just something to eat, it is a hugely significant presence in my life.

And when HIV turned into AIDS for me in 2006, an Egg McMuffin played a part in my pre-brain surgery and pre-PML diagnosis days as unexplained symptoms began to set in.

That morning (I recall it being a Saturday but I can’t be sure), I awoke in the bedroom I grew up in; my decline was so rapid and dramatic that I had moved back home with my parents in Glendale.  I couldn’t walk, so my father came and scooped me up out of bed and carried me like a baby in his arms – never underestimate the love a father has even for the son whose choices and lifestyle he disagrees with! – into the den, where he laid me on the couch and asked me what I wanted for breakfast.  I said, “an Egg McMuffin,” so he got in his car and drove to the McDonald’s at Western and Glenoaks, returning about 30 minutes later with Breakfast Combo #1:  an Egg McMuffin, a hash brown, and a cup of coffee.

Sitting upright now, my mother put a tv tray in front of me and my father laid out the McDonald’s items on it.  I grabbed the coffee with my right hand and took a sip while my mother unwrapped my sandwich, which I took in my left hand and smashed into the side of my face.  Fuck.  Tried again… this time, straight into my forehead.  My mouth was open.  I was aiming for it.  Or at least I “thought” I was!  But it was like my hand had a mind of its own and my brain could not tell it what to do.  I didn’t know it at the time, but aside from being unable to walk this was the most dramatic symptom of PML I had yet experienced; it was like the whole left side of my body belonged to someone else and took orders from their brain.

I broke down and cried.  My mom called my doctor’s office to alert them to this new development, then sat down on the couch next to me and fed me the Egg McMuffin.  I snapped at her:  “don’t feed me, I’m a grown man, not a baby.”  To which she replied, “no matter how old you are you will always be my child.”  One month and one diagnostic brain surgery later, I was diagnosed with PML, which I still suffer from today; the entire left side of my body is a stranger to me.  And there in the midst of that very trying time was an Egg McMuffin.

I brought my love of the Egg McMuffin to my current residence, Stonewall Gardens, where it is known as “the Regina Special,” named after our head chef, Regina, who conspired with me to add it to the menu.  In the Stonewall version, she poaches the egg making it even more like a Benedict, and sometimes surprises me with Cheddar or Jack cheese instead of an American slice.  In place of the Canadian bacon, she substitutes a sausage patty or sometimes strips of bacon.  It’s as close to the real thing as it can be.  It is a perfect breakfast.  I love it when I hear other residents order it!

I’m hungry for one right now.